Happy V-J Day Smiles... :) Shangy!
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================
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"We are each of us angels with but one wing,
and can only fly by embracing each other"
-Luciano Decrescenzo
~ CALLING ALL CARING ANGELS ~
\\ /////
| |
(| _ _ |)
|` | '|
| __ |
>>>___/\_^__/\___<<<
/ ||| \
Mike Hertz
*~* WE NEED CARING And SHARING Angels *~*
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================
*~* A REMINDER: PLEASE Send me sweet, interesting, funny,
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-<>-
* NOTE: An easy way to adjust the size of print in email or
any page is to hold down the Ctrl tab while moving
the scroll button on the mouse.
You can also use the keyboard to change the font size in
your web browser or emails. Hold down the Ctrl key while
pressing the + key for larger text or the - key for
smaller text!
================
>-->2 HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :)
The first too hot to handle new page is from our friends
LouiseAu and Geniann. It is one of those that will astound
you. Our little so called bird brained friends seem to
have a lot more than we thought up there. Some say it is
all instinct, but still it is amazing. Be sure to check
this one out here...
_
/.\
Y \
/ "L
// "/
|/ /\_==================
/ /
/ / unknown
\/
Structural Engineering
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/masterbuilders.html
---
...I like their teamwork! Thanks Ladies.
Our next flaming hot new page is again from our friends
LouiseAu and Geniann. This one so caught me off guard, I
just had to do it up and share it with all of you. You'll
see what I mean when you check it out here...
__i
|---|
|[_]|
|:::|
|:::|
`\ \
\_=_\ jsm
Trump's Phone Call
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/trumpscall.html
---
...Wow! What a surprise! Thanks Ladies!
=======================================================
>-->From SmileZilla:
___________
/.---------.\`-._
// || `-._
|| `-._ || `-._
|| `-._ || `-._
|| _____ ||`-._ \
_..._ || | __ ! || `-._ |
_/ \|| .' |~~|| `-._ |
.-`` _.`|| / _|~~|| .----. `-._|
| _.` _|| | |23| || / :::: \ \
\ _.--` _.` || | |56| || / ::::: | |
| _.-` _.|| | |79| || | _..-' /
_\-` _.`O || | |_ || |::| |
.` _.`O `._|| \ | || |::| |
.-` _.` `._.' || '.__|--|| |::| \
`-._.-` \`-._ || | ": !|| | '-.._ |
\ `--._|| |_:"___|| | ::::: | |
\ /\ || ":":"|| \ :::: | |
\( `-.|| .- || `.___/ /
| | || _.- || |
| / \\.-________\\____.....-----'
\ -. \ | |
\ `. \ \ |
__________ `. .'\ \| |\ _________
LGB `..' \ | | \
\\ .' | / .`.
| \.' | |.' `-._
\ _ . / \_\-._____)
\_.-` .`'._____.'`.
\_\-| |
`._________.'
Psychiatrist to Banta: Do you ever hear someone speaking but you are
not able to see them?
Banta: Yes.
Psychiatrist: When does this happen?
Banta: When I am speaking on the phone.
-<>-
A policeman pulled a blonde over after she'd been driving the wrong
way on a one-way street.
Cop: Do you know where you were going?
Blonde: No, but wherever it is, it must be bad because all the cars
were leaving.
-<>-
A man was walking down the street with a baby ape in his arms when
a friend stopped him and asked what he was doing with the chimp.
"I just bought this ape as a pet. We have no children; so he's going
to live with us - just like one of the family. He'll eat at the same
table with us. He'll even sleep in the same bed with me and my wife."
"But what about the smell?" the friend asked.
"Oh, he'll just have to get used to it, the same way I did."
=======================================================
+------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+
August 14 is National Creamsicle Day and 14/15 V-J Day - the end
of WWII?
August 15 is Relaxation Day - now this one's for me!
August 16 is National Tell a Joke Day
August 17 is National Thriftshop Day
August 18 is Bad Poetry Day
August 19 is Aviation Day, 19 National Honey Bee Awareness Day
and National Potato Day
August 20 is National Radio Day and World Mosquito Day
=======================================================
>-->From GoodCleanFun:
,-.
|,-.|
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|(_)|H|| O cHHHHHoooHHHHHD H
\|||/H|| o "HHHHHHHF' K
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H|| o /o `-./ HHHHH ><> O
H|| o 7__.-'\ HHHHH __ G
H|| O HHHHH __ \.-' o\ G
H|| o ><> HHHHH /o `-./ /`-.__F H
H|| o __ HHHHH 7__.-'\ H
H||o o /o `-./HH <>< H
H``oO 7__.-'\HH __ H
Ho o HHHHH \.-' o\ _ H
H _ _.-._ .dHHHHHb./`-.__F _ _,-._(_)(H
H,-(_)-(_)-(_),dH,-(_)H(_),-(_).,-(_)(_)-(_),-.H Krogg
>Animal Shelter
My class was touring the local animal shelter, oohing and aahing
over the lost-and-waiting-to-be-adopted animals. One of my third
grade boys was gazing intently at an elaborate aquarium full of
different species of fish.
"They're beautiful, aren't they," I commented.
He looked at me thoughtfully, then replied, "Yes, but I don't
understand ... how can anyone lose a fish?"
-<>-
>Dear John
The soldier, serving overseas, was annoyed and upset when his
girlfriend sent him a "Dear John" letter, breaking off their
engagement and asking for her photograph back.
The serviceman went out and collected from his friends all the
unwanted photographs of women that he could find. Then he bundled
them all together and sent them back to the girl with a note
saying:
"Regret cannot remember which one is you - please keep your photo
and return the others."
-<>-
>Cowboy Rules
These are the Cowboy Rules in effect for: Arizona, Texas,
Oklahoma, Colorado, New Mexico, Wyoming, Montana, Utah, Idaho and
the rest of the Wild West.
1. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot.
2. Turn your cap right; your head ain't crooked.
3. Let's get this straight: it's called a "gravel road." I drive a
pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive,
you're gonna get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.
4. They are cattle. That's why they smell like cattle. They smell
like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? I-10 & I-40 go east
and west, I-17 & I-15 go north and south. Pick one and go.
5. So you have an $80,000 car. We're impressed. We have $350,000
Combines that are driven only 3 weeks a year.
6. Every person in the Wild West waves. It's called being
friendly. Try to understand the concept.
7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of
geese/pheasants/ducks/doves are comin' in during a hunt, we WILL
shoot it outta your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to
your ear at the time.
8. Yeah. We eat trout, salmon, deer and elk. You really want sushi
and caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.
9. The 'Opener' refers to the first day of deer season. It's a
religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of
November.
10. We open doors for women. That's applies to all women, regardless
of age.
11. No, there's no '"vegetarian special" on the menu. Order steak,
or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham
and turkey.
12. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats,
vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and
ketchup! Oh, yeah ... We don't care what you folks in the North
East call that stuff you eat ... IT AIN'T REAL CHILI!!
13. You bring "Coke" into my house, it better be brown, wet and
served over ice. You bring "Mary Jane" into my house, she better be
cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.
14. College and High School Football is as important here as the
Giants, the Yankees, the Mets, the Lakers and the Knicks, and a
dang site more fun to watch.
15. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards -
it spooks the fish.
16. Turn down that blasted car stereo! That thumpity-thump ain't
music, anyway. We don't want to hear it anymore than we want to
see your boxers! Refer back to #1!
A true Westerner will send this to at least 10 others and a few
new friends that probably won't get it, but we're friendly so we
share in hopes you can begin to understand what a real life is
all about!!!
-<>-
>Shoe Shine
As a new Ensign, I was assigned duty at the Naval Observatory in
Washington, DC, and carpooled to work with a veteran Marine
sergeant. One afternoon, I showed him a pair of brown shoes I had
purchased to go with my khaki uniform. He examined the leather
carefully. "Let me take these home," he said, "and I'll show you
a real Marine Corps shine."
The next day I wore my old shoes, expecting to switch them with
the ones the sergeant was polishing. From a grocery bag, Sarge
pulled out the right shoe, shining like glass. "This is the way a
Marine shines a shoe," he said. "Now all you have to do is polish
the left one to look like it."
=========================================================
>-->From Our Friend LouiseA :)
_Waiter!! hey...
| Sorry, but the chef's
| dog has stolen my steak!!
|_____________________| /) ____
\ //_ / \%
\ \ / / e %%% ____
.\\///, // /_ ,)% _\_______________
.\' _ _\ // \_o_ / | |
\| , (,( // \\_ |_Ohhhh, yes Sir, he
| _\| // /><(\ REALLY loves it...
\_s__|_// |H \\
___||_,::/ |H |\\
|:/""\::/ __>---._\\
|/, \\/ / ,| |--'
|> \ \| \(-|___|<
_____(/____(|_____ /\/ \\ | )
/ ;..--..: \ \/: :| |() * hha hha *
/ _/_/((______))\_ \ \\_// | ) ________ ____
/ (/(_) '------' \\\ \ `-'|__| u , \ /__ \
/________________________\ ||| //>-.. / ) \ ) )
'------------------------' ||| (( ) \\_/__________/ / _/
|||| || || |||| ||| ))\ \ < _,'
_gnv__||||___||___||___||||_ ____ _ _|||_ ((_/ ___| _ \__,-/ /__
|||| >| |< |||| >|| | /\ )( ( <
|| ,' | | `. || __,-'/_( |( | / `.`-. \
|| /__,' `.__\ || /___,' ( _|/_// __//_//
|__,' '-'--' '--'--'
>SMILES
"Waiter, there's a fly in the bottom of my soup bowl! What does
this mean?" "Listen, Bud, if you want your fortune told, go see a
gypsy.
--------
The young mother skeptically examined a new educational toy.
"Isn't it rather complicated for a small boy?" she asked the
salesclerk.
"It's designed to ease the tot into living in today's world,
madam," the shop assistant replied. "Any way he tries to put
it together is wrong."
--------
At our local funeral home families are given the chance to chose
the music they would like to enter the service to.
One family asked to enter to Elvis Presley's hit, "Love me Tender."
The day of the funeral arrived and the music was started ready for
the family to walk in to the service.
Unfortunately the wrong track number was entered into the CD player,
and the family found themselves walking in to, "Return to Sender."
--------
Church feuds are not uncommon, especially among cliques in the
congregation. But when the music director and the pastor get into
it, stand back.
One week the pastor preached on commitment and how we should
dedicate ourselves to service.
The choir selected "I Shall Not Be Moved" as the final hymn.
Next week the pastor preached on giving and how we should gladly
give to the work of the Lord.
The choir selected "Jesus Paid It All" as the final hymn.
Next week the pastor preached on gossiping and how we should
watch our tongues.
The choir selected "I Love To Tell The Story" as the final hymn.
Next week the pastor, being disgusted over the situation, told
the congregation that he was considering resignation.
The choir selected "Why Not Tonight" as the final hymn.
Then the pastor resigned the next week and told the congregation
that Jesus had led him there and Jesus was now leading him away.
The choir selected "What A Friend We Have In Jesus" as the final
hymn.
--------
Interviewer to applicant: "What's your choice: I can either
ask you ten easy questions or one very difficult question.
Think well before you make up your mind."
"My choice is one very difficult question."
"What comes first, Day or Night?"
"It's the Day, sir."
"Why?"
"I'm sorry, sir. You promised me you would only ask me one
difficult question."
---------
My wife cannot ride in a car without telling whoever is driving what
to do, when to do it, etc. She is, bar none, the worst 'back seat
driver' in the world. I have long thought this, though she would
deny it. She claimed she seldom, if ever made comments about my
driving. I, of course, claimed the opposite. Now I have proof.
The other day we were headed for the mall, and my daughter piped up,
"Daddy, before you married Mommy, who told you how to drive?"
----------
Millions of years ago, there was no such thing as the wheel. The
only way to move things was by carrying or dragging.
One day, some primitive guys were watching their wives drag a dead
mastodon to the food preparation area. It was exhausting work. The
guys were getting tired just WATCHING.
Then they noticed some large, smooth, rounded boulders, and they had
an idea. They could sit on the boulders and watch! This was the
first in a series of breakthroughs that ultimately led to television.
--------
For a holiday, an Irishman decided to go to Switzerland to fulfill a
lifelong dream and climb the Matterhorn. He hired a guide and, just
as they neared the top, the men were caught in a snow slide.
Three hours later, a Saint Bernard plowed through to them, a keg of
brandy tied under his chin. "Hooray!" shouted the guide. "Here
comes man's best friend!"
"Yeah," replied the Irishman. "An' look at the size of the dog
that's bringin' it!"
--------
When my wife had to rush to the hospital unexpectedly, she asked me
to bring her a few items from home.
One item on her list was "comfortable underwear."
Worried I'd make the wrong choice, I asked, "How will I know which
ones to pick?"
"Hold them up and imagine them on me," she answered.
"If you smile, put them back."
--------
A man and his wife received a letter from their daughter who went
to study overseas:
My beloved Parents, I miss you so much. I don't know when I'm coming
home, but it seems not any time soon. It breaks my heart to think
that by the time I get back you'll be too old. So enclosed you will
find a bottle of a potion I have invented. It will make you young,
so when I return you'll be the same age as I left you.
NOTE: "Please take only one drop"
NOTE: "Please take only one drop"
So they opened the envelope and in it is a bottle with a red potion.
The husband looks at the wife and says: "You go first."
So the wife opens the bottle and takes a drop, there after the
husband follows.
Indeed they did get 5 years younger.
A year passed and the daughter returned home to find her mother
young and beautiful, carrying a baby on her back.
The mother proceeds to tell her daughter how the potion worked and
made her look young.
The daughter was delighted and asked about her father.
"Your father, my child, got so jealous that I was young and beautiful
so he drank the whole bottle."
"So where is he?"
"Oh, that's him I have on my back."
---------
Little Johnny's father says to him, "When you go back to your Mom's
tonight, give her this envelope. Tell her that since you are now 18
this is the LAST check she'll ever see from me for child support.
Then, stand back and watch the expression her face."
"OK" replied Little Johnny.
Later when Little Johnny got home he said to his mom, "Mom, Dad
asked me to give you this envelope. He said to tell you that since
I'm now 18 this is the LAST child support payment he'll ever have
to make to you. Now I'm supposed to stand back and watch the
expression on your face."
"Next time you visit your father tell him that after 18 years I
have decided to inform him that he's not your father. Then, stand
back and watch the expression on HIS face." replied Little
Johnny's mother.
---
...Oh My! HaHa! Thanks LouiseAu!
=========================================================
>-->From Our Friend Geniann :)
, ,.~"""""~~.. ___
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\ \ | ) `~._ .-"""""-._ / \
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>Donald and the Queen - Tact and diplomacy?
A private Le?arjet? arrives at Heathrow international airport and
Donald Trump strides to a waiting limousine which drives him to a
warm and dignified reception from the Queen.
From there, they are driven in a 1934 Bentley to the edge of
central London where they change to a magnificent 17th century
carriage hitched to six white horses.
They continue on towards Buckingham Palace waving to the thousands
of cheering Britons; all is going well.
Suddenly, the right rear horse lets fly with the most horrendous
earth-shattering fart ever heard in the British Empire. The fart
shakes the coach. The smell is atrocious! Both passengers in the
carriage must use perfume-dipped handkerchiefs over their nose, but
the two do their best to ignore the incident.
The Queen turns to Trump saying, "Mr. Trump, please accept my
regrets. I am sure you understand there are some things that even
a Queen cannot control."
Trump, with his usual diplomatic aplomb, replied, "Your Majesty, do
not give the matter another thought. Until you mentioned it, I
thought it was one of the horses.
---
...Oh Geesh! TeeHee! Thanks Geniann!
-<>-
>News
Government surveyors came to Ole's farm in the fall and asked if
they could do some surveying. Ole agreed and Lena even served them
a nice meal at noon time
After their surveying was completed, they came back to Ole and
said, "You were so kind to us, we wanted to give you this bad news
in person instead of by letter."
Ole replied, "What's the bad news"?
The surveyors stated, "Well, after our work we discovered your farm
is not in Minnesota, but is actually in North Dakota!"
Ole said, "That's the best news I've had in a long time! I was
just telling Lena this morning, I don't think I can take another
winter in Minnesota."
-<>-
>Old Age
Her minister told an eighty-year-old woman that, at her age, she
should be giving some thought to what he called “the hereafter.”
She said to him, “I think about it many times a day.”
“Oh, really?” said the minister. “That is very wise."
“It’s not a matter of wisdom,” she replied. “It’s when I open a
drawer or a closet, I ask myself, ‘What am I here after?’”
-<>-
>2017 - A Church Service
PASTOR: "The Lord be with you!"
CONGREGATION: And with your spirit"
PASTOR: "Will everyone please turn on their tablet, PC, iPad, smart
phone, and Kindle Bibles to 1 Corinthians, 13:13. And please switch
on your Bluetooth to download the sermon."
P-a-u-s-e......
"Now, let us pray committing this week into God's hands. Open your
Apps, BBM, Twitter, and Facebook, and chat with God"
S-i-l-e-n-c-e
"As we take our Sunday tithes and offerings, please have your credit
and debit cards ready. You can log on to the church Wi-Fi using the
password 'Lord909887.' The ushers will circulate mobile card swipe
machines among the worshipers:
"A. Those who prefer to make electronic fund transfers are
directed to computers and laptops at the rear of the church.
"B. Those who prefer to use iPads can open them.
"C. Those who prefer telephone banking, take out your cell
phones to transfer your contributions to the church account."
The holy atmosphere of the Church becomes truly electrified as ALL
the smart phones, iPads, PCs, and laptops beep and flicker!
"Final Blessing and Closing Announcements.
"A. This week's ministry cell meetings will be held on the
various Facebook group pages where the usual group chatting takes
place. Please log in and don't miss out.
"B. Thursday's Bible study will be held live on Skype at 1900hrs
GMT. Please don't miss out.
"C. You can follow your Pastor on Twitter this weekend for
counseling and prayers.
"God bless and have a nice day."
---
...Awww, yes. HaHa! Thanks Geniann!
-<>-
_
|\_,,____
( o__o \/
/(..) \
(_ )--( _)
/ ""--"" \
,===,=| |-,,,,-| |==,==
|d | WW | WW |
|s | | | | |
>Pigs
A farmer had 5 female pigs.
Times were hard, so he decided to take them to the county fair
and sell them.
At the fair, he met another farmer who owned five male pigs.
After talking a bit, they decided to mate the pigs and split
everything 50/50.
The farmers lived 60 miles apart, so they decided to drive 30
miles each and find a field in which to let the pigs mate.
The first morning, the farmer with the female pigs got up at 5A.M.,
loaded the pigs into the family station wagon, (which was the only
vehicle he had) and drove the thirty miles.
While the pigs were mating, he asked the other farmer,
"How will I know if they are pregnant?"
The other farmer replied,
"If they're lying in the grass tomorrow morning, they're pregnant.”
“If they're lying in the mud, they're not."
The next morning the pigs were rolling in the mud, so he hosed them
off, loaded them into the family station wagon again and proceeded
to try again.
This continued each morning for more than a week and both farmers
were worn out.
The next morning he was too tired to get out of bed.
He called his wife,
"Honey, please look outside and tell me whether the pigs are in
the mud or in the grass."
"Neither," yelled his wife, "they're in the station wagon.
And one of them is honking the horn."
---
...LMAO! Love this! Thanks Geniann!
=======================================================
>-->In The Worldly News:
ALERT: Japan Sends Surprise To US Navy In Massive Show of Support
For President Trump
http://tinyurl.com/ydekfmp2
Trump Denounces Virginia White Supremacist Riots, Liberals
Instantly Attack
http://tinyurl.com/y8ltce9z
David Duke slams Trump ‘attack’ As WH Declares Trump Condemns
‘all extremist groups’ [VIDEO]
http://tinyurl.com/y9pzuwvu
Ivanka Trump “no place in society for racism, white supremacy…”
After Charlottesville
http://tinyurl.com/y9ojlwsa
Gov Huckabee: If Trump ‘shot’ Charlottesville crash driver ‘between
the eyes,’ he’d still be criticized [VIDEO]
http://tinyurl.com/ybso2mm2
James Woods Reveals the One Person Happiest About Charlottesville
Tragedy
http://tinyurl.com/y7td7sqy
Veterans Group Yanks Elizabeth Warren Invite: ‘We don’t want you’
at rally
http://tinyurl.com/yar6w2nb
SHOCK – Denmark new solution to stop Islamic terrorism ”give them a
hug and a job”! [VIDEO]
http://tinyurl.com/y8ywowom
Oh My Gosh! This Walmart Was Abandoned But What They Then Did Inside
Is Truly Amazing!
http://tinyurl.com/yaxfws6k
Millennial College Student Ashamed Her Father Is A Republican, But
She Learned FAST!
http://tinyurl.com/y7bxbjfg
-<>-
>From BizarreNews:
I didn't know this, but apparently you can buy a street.
That is what a Chinese-born couple living in San Francisco
did It looks like it's all legal, above-board and will
probably end up being very profitable for the two. And it
all happened because a bunch of one percenters living in
multi-million dollar homes couldn't be bothered to pay $994
in back-taxes.
Tina Lam and Michael Cheng came across the deal in April 2015
when looking for property bargains in San Francisco. They
discovered that the private street had been put up for a
city auction because its property homeowners' association
hadn't paid the annual $14 county property tax in 30 years.
Presidio Terrace, the most prestigious street in the city,
was for sale because of a mere $994 in back-taxes, fines and
interest.
The couple, who live in San Jose, put their winning $90,100
bid down without even checking out the property first.
Over the past two years the residents of the gated street
have gone about their business, unaware that the asphalt,
sidewalks, manicured islands, plants and palm trees
surrounding them were now owned by the couple.
In the intervening two years, Lam and Cheng have been
looking at ways to monetize their newly acquired plot.
Eventually they decided that they could charge 'a reasonable
rent' for the 120 parking spaces on the street.
The locals only found out that they'd lost their land when
they were contacted to see if they were interested in buying
it back. They were not pleased.
But city spokeswoman Amanda Fried was unapologetic.
'Ninety-nine percent of property owners in San Francisco
know what they need to do, and they pay their taxes on time,'
she said.
-<>-
The New Orleans Police Department said that they are seeking
to locate and identify a suspect believed to be responsible
for an armed robbery where she removed her bra and left it
at the scene of the crime. Perhaps as a decoy.
According to the police investigation, at about 2:00 a.m.,
the woman entered the northeast door of the Bud's Broiler
restaurant. The armed robber was carrying what was determined
to be a black toy handgun with an orange tip, removable
magazine and mounted tactical light.
The robber then allegedly forced an employee into the storage
refrigerator and utilized a set of keys to unlock a locker
containing a money deposit bag. She then entered another
office room and removed additional money bags, also
containing cash.
The subject then fled west on N. Anthony Street, discarding
the keys and toy gun along with a bra and blue baseball cap.
The suspect was described as approximately 5 feet and 3
inches tall. She was wearing a white t-shirt and tan long
pants.
And no bra.
+--- Just When You Think Council Meetings Are Boring ---+
A Nevada city council meeting was interrupted when a woman's
purse abruptly burst into flames in a moment caught on
camera. Video from the Boulder City Council meeting shows a
small explosion take place in the woman's purse as she sits
behind the man addressing the council. Boulder City Fire
Chief Kevin Nicholson, who regularly attends council
meetings, rushed to the woman's aid as the flames spread to
her shirt. "There was a battery malfunction in her purse
that ignited her purse," Nicholson said. The woman, who
sustained only minor burns and did not need to be
hospitalized, said the exploded battery was the type meant
to be used in an electronic cigarette or vape pen. "Well,
that was exciting," Mayor Rod Woodbury quipped as the meeting
resumed.
*---- Pogo Stick Pro Wins New World Record ----*
A professional pogo stick jumper (which is apparently a
thing) leapt over three cars on a roof in England for a word
record-breaking stunt. American XPOGO performer Dalton Smith
teamed up with Nissan Automotive Europe to hop over three
Nissan Juke's to claim the Guinness World Record for "Most
consecutive cars jumped over on a pogo stick." Smith began
the attempt by bouncing in place to gain enough height before
successfully clearing the roof of each car with three massive
leaps. While Smith made the feat appear easy by ending the
attempt with a flipping dismount, he said the record
presented an immense challenge. "This was never going to be
an easy world record to break, but the team and I are always
up for a challenge.
*--- Rapping Said Getting Shot Not a Biggie Deal ---*
A Georgia rapper (lyrics, not presents) tempted fate, maybe
just going a little too much when he taunted his attackers.
Yung Mazi, whose real name is Jabril Abur-Rahman, a 31-year-
old father of two children, said in a video that he had
previously been shot 10 times. The last incident was just 8
months ago. After he survived so many gunshots including one
to his head, the rapper proclaimed that "God made him bullet-
proof." He was wrong. In the video, he said that people need
to stop aiming at his legs and "start aiming for something
that will kill somebody."
Sadly, seems like the shooter or shooters took his advice.
This time, he was shot in the chest. The killer or killers,
are on the run. Police said that so far they don't have any
leads or tips about the killing.
*----- Just Another Day At Walmart -----*
Women in Michigan, are angry after learning that a man has
been pleasuring himself on women standing in line at Walmart
stores. The Washtenaw County Sheriff's Office said that they
are looking to arrest the man, who was not identified, after
being accused of pleasuring himself and leaving DNA on women
who were waiting in line at Walmart stores. According to the
police investigation, the first assault occurred at the
Walmart store located in Ann Arbor. The suspect moved behind
the victim and pleasured himself. He bumped into the victim
several times before leaving his DNA on the woman's clothes.
He then fled from the scene before police arrived. The second
incident unfolded at a Walmart store on Ellsworth Road. The
woman was waiting on the MoneyGram line when she noticed the
suspect standing behind her. He pleasured himself and left
his DNA on her dress. The suspect fled from the scene before
police arrived.
=========================================================
>-->From Our Friend Fran :)
/`. /`.
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Gee Brain, | \/-`\ \ The same thing we do
what do you i. _\';.,X j every night, Pinky.
want to do `:_\ ( \ \',-. Try to take over
tonight? .'"`\ a\eY' ) the world! _,.
`._"\`-' `-/ .-;' |
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.'/ "' | `\.-'""-/ / j
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>My braininess friends will love these...
If you attempt to rob a bank you won’t have any trouble with rent/
food bills for the next 10 years, whether or not you are successful.
* Do twins ever realize that one of them is unplanned?
* What if my dog only brings back my ball because he thinks I
like throwing it?
* If poison expires, is it more poisonous or is it no longer
poisonous?
* Which letter is silent in the word "Scent," the S or the c?
* Why is the letter W, in English, called double U? Shouldn't
it be called double V?
* Maybe oxygen is slowly killing you and It just takes 75-100
years to fully work.
* Every time you clean something, you just make something else
dirty.
* The word "swims" upside-down is still "swims".
* Intentionally losing a game of rock, paper, scissors is just
as hard as trying to win.
* 100 years ago everyone owned a horse and only the rich had
cars. Today everyone has cars and only the rich own horses.
* Your future self is watching you right now through memories.
* The doctors that told Stephen Hawking he had two years to
live in 1953 are probably dead.
* If you replace "W" with "T" in "What, Where and When", you get
the answer to each of them.
* Many animals probably need glasses, but nobody knows it.
* If you rip a hole in a net, there are actually fewer holes in
it than there were before.
* If 2/2/22 falls on a Tuesday, we'll just call it "2's Day".
(It does fall on a Tuesday.)
---
...TeeHee! Good Ones! Thanks Fran!
==============================================================
>-->From CleanLaffs:
_....._
/::::::.\
/xx::::::.\
|#xx|n|:xx|
\##x/xxxx#/ |
|\-.-.|\#/#####/ | . |.-,-/|
/\__V_\'|B""""|\-.-|| :o. /_v_=\ \ \ /,
|0| o,o|/ / /==o=|\ \ \|o.- |0|_.O--
|||\_|=_=/]/ ||o.o|| \[\_v_|.-'\.'
|(_)=)-=== \]=-=|/ | @ \-'
\ '=: \V| m|--e-+------ |=O==|
'._|=._\| |\_\_v_E)| '/\ '/==..__
/ |//'. | |=>o<=| |-\"\
/-=/ '. | './-\_/-\ |_o| '.___.'
_/._/ |-|_ _|._/ \_.| \_/\
/:__o| |o_:\ /:_o| |o_:. /:_o| l42
A customer at a coffee shop was clearly peeved by the text
message he'd just received. "You ever have that ex-girl-
friend who just won't go away?" he asked his friend.
"Yeah," came the reply. "My wife."
-<>-
Two friends meet in the street. The one man looked rather
forlorn and down in the mouth. The other man asked, "Hey,
how come you look like the whole world caved in?"
The sad fellow said, "Let me tell you. Three weeks ago, an
uncle died and left me ten thousand dollars."
"I'm sorry to hear about the death, but a bit of good luck
for you, eh?"
"Hold on, I'm just getting started. Two weeks ago, a cousin
I never knew kicked the bucket and left me twenty thousand,
free and clear."
"Well, you can't be disappointed with that!"
"Yep. But, last week my grandfather passed away. I inherited
almost one hundred thousand dollars."
"Incredible... so how come you look so glum?"
"Well, this week...nothing!"
-<>-
A Missouri farmer passed away and left 17 mules to his three
sons. The instructions left in the will said that the oldest
boy was to get one-half, the second oldest one-third, and
the youngest one-ninth. The three sons, recognizing the
difficulty of dividing 17 mules into these fractions, began
to argue.
Their uncle heard about the argument, hitched up his mule
and drove out to settle the matter. He added his mule to the
17, making 18. The oldest therefore got one-half, or nine,
the second oldest got one-third, or six, and the youngest
son got one-ninth, or two. Adding up 9, 6 and 2 equals 17.
The uncle, having settled the argument, hitched up his mule
and drove home.
-<>-
The personnel office received an email requesting a listing
of the department staff broken down by age and sex. The
personnel office sent this reply...
"Attached is a list of our staff. We currently have no one
broken down by age or sex. However, we have a few alcoholics."
-<>-
Three guys are debating which of their native languages is
the most pleasing to the ear.
The Italian says, "Consider the phrase, 'I love you.' In
Italian, it is: 'Ti amo'. What a lovely sound!"
The French guy says, "True, but in French it is 'Je t'adore'.
An even more beautiful sound!"
"Unt vat's wrong vit: 'Ick leiber dick?" asks the German.
=========================================================
>-->From Our Friend Karen :)
,-----.
W/,-. ,-.\W
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[] `===' `===' hjw
>Senior Humor
Since more and more Seniors are texting, there appears to be a
need for a STC (Senior Texting Code). Please pass this on to
your CHILDREN, God Children, and Grandchildren so they can
understand your texts.
ATD: At The Doctor's
BFF: Best Friend Fainted
BTW: Bring The Wheelchair
BYOT: Bring Your Own Teeth
CBM: Covered By Medicare
CGU: Can't get up
CUATSC: See You At The Senior Center
DWI: Driving While Incontinent
FWB: Friend With Beta Blockers
FWIW: Forgot Where I Was
FYI: Found Your Insulin
GGPBL: Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low!
GHA: Got Heartburn Again
HGBM: Had Good Bowel Movement
IMHO: Is My Hearing-Aid On?
LMDO: Laughing My Dentures Out
LOL: Living On Lipitor
LWO: Lawrence Welk's On
OMMR: On My Massage Recliner
OMSG: Oh My! Sorry, Gas.
ROFL... CGU: Rolling On The Floor Laughing... And Can't Get Up
TTYL: Talk To You Louder
WAITT: Who Am I Talking To?
WTFA: Wet The Furniture Again
WTP: Where's The Prunes?
WWNO: Walker Wheels Need Oil
GGLKI: (Gotta Go, Laxative Kicking In
-----------
.---.
(_---_)
(_/6 6\_)
( v )
`\ /'
.-'': ;``-.
/ \,Y./ \
/ (:)___ \
: .-'XXX`-.`\_;
`.__.-XXX-.__.'\_
/ / XXX \ \ `\_
/ XXX \ `\
/ XXX \ _`\___
jgs / \ (`--"""-')
/ \ (=-=-=-=-)
`--...___ ___...--' (________)
Jane and Arlene are outside their nursing home, having a drink
and a smoke, when it starts to rain.
Jane pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her
cigarette, and continues smoking.
Arlene: What in the heck is that?
Jane: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.
Arlene: Where did you get it?
Jane: You can get them at any pharmacy.
The next day, Arlene hobbles herself into the local pharmacy and
announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.
The pharmacist, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of
strangely (she is, after all, over 80 years of age), but very
delicately asks what size, texture, brand of condom she prefers.
'Doesn't matter Sonny, as long as it fits on a Camel.'
The pharmacist fainted.
-----------
_______
_.-'\ /'-._
_.-' _\ .-. /_ '-._
.-' _.-' |/.-.\| '-._ '-.
.' .-' _|| ||_ '-. '.
/ .' .-' ||___|| '-. '. \
/ .' .-' _.-'-----'-._ '-. '. \
/ / .' .-' ~ ~ '-. '. \ \
/ / / .' ~ * ~ ~ '. \ \ \
/ / /.'........ * ~ * ~'.\ \ \
| / //:::::::::: ~ _____._____ \\ \ |
| | |/::::::::::: * '-----------' \| | |
.--.|__||_____________________________||__|.--.
.' '----. .-----------------------. .----' '.
'.________' |o|==|o|====:====|o|==|o| '________.'
.'--------. |o|==|o|====:====|o|==|o| .--------'.
'.________' |o|==|o|====:====|o|==|o| '________.'
.'--------. |o|==|o|====:====|o|==|o| .--------'.
'.________' |o|==|o|====:====|o|==|o| '________.'
| | || ____ |:| | | | | |:| ____ || | |
| | || | ||:| | | | | |:|| | || | |
| | || |____||: Wurlitzer :||____| || | |
| | || | /|:| | | | | |:|\ | || | |
| | || |_.` |:| | | | | |:| `._| || | |
| | || .---.-'-'-'-'-'-'-'-'-.---. || | |
| | || | |\ /\ / \ /\ /| | || | |
| | || | |~\/ \/ ~ \/ \/ | | || | |
| | || | | /\ ~/\ ~ /\ ~/\ | | || | |
| | || | |/ \/ \ / \/ ~\| | || | |
| | || | |\~ /\~ / \~ /\ /| | || | |
| | || | | \/ \/ ~ \/ \/ | | || | |
| | || | | /\~ /\ ~ /\ ~/\ | | || | |
| | || |===|/ \/ .-. \/ \|===| || | |
| | || | | ~ /\ ( * ) /\ ~ | | || | |
| | || | \ / \/'-'\/ \ / | || | |
/-._|__|| \ \ ~ /\ ~ /\~ / / ||__|_.-\
|-._/__/| \ './ .-. \.' / |\__\_.-|
| | | || '._ '-| |-' _.' || | | |
| | | || '._ | | _.' || | | |
| | | || '-._| |_.-' || | | |
| | | || __ | | || | | |
| | | || O__O |_| || | | |
'.|_|__||_____________________________||__|_|.'
| | |-----------------------------| | |
| | [_____________________________] | |
| | |/ LGB \| | |
'._|__.' '.__|_.'
>Do You Remember These?
Saturday Morning serials - Chapters One thru fifteen
Fly Paper, Penny Loafers, and Lucky Strike Green
Flat Tops, sock hops, Studebaker, "Pepsi, please"
Ah, do you remember these?
Cigar Bands on your hands - Your Daddy's socks rolled down...
Sticks, no plugs and Aviator caps, with flaps that button down
Movie stars on Dixie Cup tops and knickers to your knees.
Ah, do you remember these?
The hit Parade, Grape Tru-aide, The Sadie Hawkins Dance.
Peddle Pushers, Duck Tail hair, and Peggin' your pants.
Howdy Doody...Tootie fruitie...The seam up the back of her hose.
Ah, do you remember those?
James Dean, he was "Keen," Sunday Movies were Taboo.
The senior Prom, Judy's Mom, Rock 'n Roll was New.
Cracker Jack Prize...stars in your eyes..."Ask Daddy for the Keys".
Ah, do you remember these?
The Boogie Man, Lemonade stand and taking your Tonsils out...
Indian Burn and Wait Your Turn and four foul Balls...You're Out!
Cigarette Loads and Secret Codes and saving Lucky Stars
Can you remember back that far?
To Boat Neck shirts and fender skirts and Crinoline Petticoats.
Mums the Word and Dirty Bird and Double Root Beer float.
Moon hubcaps and Loud heel Taps and "he's a Real Gone Cat"
Ah, do you remember that?
Dancing Close, Little Moron Jokes and "Cooties" in her hair.
Captain Midnight, Ovaltine, and The Whip at the County fair.
Charles Atlas Course, Roy Rogers horse, and "Only the Shadow Knows".
Ah, do you remember those?
Gables Charms, "froggin" your arm, Loud Mufflers, Pitching Woo.
Going steady, Veronica and Betty, White Bucks and Blue Suede Shoes
Knock, Knock Jokes.........
Who's There?
Dewey
Dewey Who?
Dewey......Remember These.........Yes we do!
Oh Do We?.....
Do We Remember These!!!
And if you do remember
YOU ARE A HIP DADDY-O!
---
...HaHa! Good ones! Thanks Karen!
=========================================================
>-->FUN Places To Net Visit :)
World's Largest Monastic Library
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/library.html
Dominic And Jobe
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/jobe.html
Liberty Air Show
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/liberty.html
Book Sculpture Art
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bookart.html
Gem Wire Tree Art
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/wiretree.html
Pay It Forward
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/payitforward.html
Naval Fleet Art
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/navalart.html
Awesome Tree Houses
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/treehouses.html
Breathtaking Photos
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/breathtaking.html
Colorful Birds 3
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/birds3.html
God's Most Beautiful!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/mostbeautiful.html
86 Year Old Grandma Gymnast
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/grandmagymnast.html
Amazing Athlete Homes
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/athletehomes.html
New York At Night!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/newyork.html
Angel Wing Decoys!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/angel.html
Microscopic Winners!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/micro2.html
Rotating Skyscrapers!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/skyscraper.html
Rarely Seen Things 1!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/rarelyseen.html
Thoughts Into Action 3!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/action3.html
Chevy: American Pride!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/chevypride.html
Nostalgic Golden Memories!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/goldenoldie.html
Amazing Street-Legal Airplane!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/transition.html
-<>-
>From Our Friend Jess :)
A detailed, up-to-date 7,000 word guide on the 100 best things to
do in New York and is packed with detailed tips and advice.
https://www.jenreviews.com/best-things-to-do-in-new-york/
---
...Great info! Thanks Jess!
-<>-
>From Our Friend Karen :)
Amazing Green Street
http://tinyurl.com/yav38wrx
---
...Beautiful! Thanks Karen!
-<>-
>From Our Friend Geniann :)
Smiles - East Indian guy ......
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=646039295421798
---
...LMAO! Good one! Thanks Geniann!
-<>-
>From LynnLynn:
Dedicated To Buster
http://www.carolspoetry.com/buster.html
Forgiveness
http://www.allisonsheart.com/forgive/forgive1.html
Big Bend National Park
https://musicofnature.com/big-bend-national-park/
Liberty and Justice—Nesting Eagles Online
https://www.eagles.org/liberty-and-justice-nesting-eagles-online/
Printer Compare Guide
http://www.printer-comparison.biz/
-<>-
>From Our Friend LouiseAu :)
If you have never heard Deck Of Cards then I think you're going to
enjoy this performance by Wink Martindale. This clip was filmed many
years after his original single was released in 1959. I have heard
the deck of cards story before but I never realized who created it
or the history behind it so I enjoyed seeing this video.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5MOLEeW3JyA
Magician Justin Flom shares the story of the Soldier's Deck of Cards
in this tribute to Veterans. He's using the term soldier to describe
all military personnel which will cause Marines to bristle and most
Sergeants didn't like to be called Sir. If you can look past the
terminology slip up then you'll really enjoy this video. Well done
Justin and thanks for giving the United States Marine Corps such a
prominent position in your tribute story.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KGPKpIuX3cY
---
...Cool! Thanks LouiseAu!
=======================================================
>-->Quotes & Thunkers:
"Elon Musk recently announced that the government has
approved a plan for something called a 'Hyperloop' that
will transport people between New York and D.C. in just
29 minutes. Apparently this thing shoots people through
a tube at 700 miles an hour! And, when you arrive in New
York it drops you straight off at Macy's so you can buy
a clean pair of underwear." -James Corden
"A couple recently got married on a roller coaster at a
Massachusetts amusement park while their wedding guests
were on the ride with them. And this is cool - the
reception was open barf." -Seth Meyers
"A new article states that millennials have terrible
conversational skills. When asked for comment, millennials
texted a series of crying frowny faces." -Conan O'Brien
"A school district in Florida is eliminating homework for
all school students this year. Officials say it's fine
because a lot of students are already reading at a fifth
grade level. Unfortunately a lot of those students are in
10th grade." -James Corden
"ABC is dropping plans for a live musical of 'The Little
Mermaid' because of budget issues. Also, because nobody can
hold their breath underwater for two hours." -Jimmy Fallon
"The WWE has trademarked the Bible verse numbers 3:16. It
refers to one of the Bible's most quoted verses, John 3:16:
'For God so loved the world, that he gave his only son,
that those who believe in him shall not die but have eternal
life.' Or, as the WWE will now put it, 'Christ-a-mania is
running wild! Woo, baby!'" -Stephen Colbert
"Taco Bell announced it will begin selling a potato-rito,
which is beef, cheese, potatoes, and chipotle spice wrapped
in a tortilla for $1. Or, for the same nutritional value,
just eat the dollar." -Seth Meyers
"The Mars Curiosity Rover celebrated its fifth year in space
by humming 'Happy Birthday' to itself. The Rover then drank
a bottle of white wine and cried itself to sleep."
-Conan O'Brien
"Vin Diesel is with us tonight. Vin is not his real name.
His real name is Vehicle Identification Number." -Jimmy Kimmel
>Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html
FUN URLS
------------------------------------------------------------------------
-->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class
http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61
NEW LIFE IN CHRIST!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
-->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home
Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the
Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :)
Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes:
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html
Home Recipes
>Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE:
Share
A Recipe
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