Happy Early Valentine's Day... :) Shangy!
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or email me here:
bcrsystems@earthlink.net
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*~* Please Consider Giving To ShangralaFamilyFun.com
The cost of the website has gone up dramatically due to the
ever increasingly wonderful pages and photos being added each
week to entertain you and our fellow Christian families. While
the ads on the website do help, I don't want to drag the site
down with tons of them to pay for it. I need your help!
"We are each of us angels with but one wing,
and can only fly by embracing each other"
-Luciano Decrescenzo
~ CALLING ALL CARING ANGELS ~
*~* WE NEED CARING And SHARING Angels *~*
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*~* THANK YOU! MAY GOD BLESS YOU MOST ABUNDANTLY FOR YOUR GIFT!
================
.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:.
__, ,___) __, ,_) ,_) ______)
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'. .' \ / '. .' \ / '. .' \ / '. .' \ /
\/ '. .' \/ '. .' \/ '. .' \/ '. .'
jgs \/ \/ \/ \/
*******************************************
>-->4 HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :)
We start our newbies off with this smoking hot cute one
from our friends Linda, Melinda and Geniann! A good one
to get you in the mood for Valentine's Day as our animal
friends show you how to be especially nice to those that
matter to you. Check this one out here....
SNUGGLE _ _ BUNNIES
( \/ ) _
((`\ \ / //)
\\ \ \/ ///
\\ \__ __///
/ \_ _/ \
| ^ )( ^ |
) { } (
/ \;__:, \ \
| \ ) / |
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{_\ / \ /_}
| || || |
jgs | )) (( |
`""""`` ``"""`
Wild Kisses And Snuggles 2!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/wildkisses2.html
---
...Awww, so adorable! Thanks Ladies!
Not to be outdone on your aww meter is this hot new page
from our friends Linda, Bunni, Melinda, PatDeE and Geniann.
Plenty of warm tender moments here to spike your aww quota
for the day. Check this one out here...
____ ____
.-" "-. .-" "-.
/ `. .' \
| (`-"-`) |
| /'Y'\ |
; __\_^_/__ ;
\ ()_ >o< _() /
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Kids With Animals 3!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/kidswithanimals3.html
---
...Such a sweet series! Thanks My Friends!
Our next two flaming hot pages are from our friends Linda
and LouiseAu. These will give you a little insight into
the beautiful continent of Australia. Check these out for
a delightful tour of this great land.
__.....__
.-"""-.-"`.- -.`"-.-"""-.
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Beautiful Australia!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/beautifulaustralia.html
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Beautiful Australia 2!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/beautifulaustralia2.html
---
...Most enjoyable! I loved it! Thanks Ladies!
=======================================================
>-->From SmileZilla:
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Mr. Jones is driving past the state mental hospital when his
left rear tire suffers a flat. While he is changing the tire,
another car goes by, running over the hub cap in which he was
keeping the lug nuts. The nuts are all knocked into a nearby
storm drain.
He is at a loss for what to do and is about to go call a cab
when he hears a shout from behind the hospital fence, where
one of the inmates has been watching the whole thing.
"Hey, pal! Why don't you just take one lug nut off each of the
other three wheels and use them to replace the missing ones?
That'll hold your tires on until you can get to a garage or
something."
Mr. Jones is startled by the patient's seeming rationality,
but realizes the plan will work, and installs the spare tire
without incident. Before he leaves, he calls back to the
patient. "You know, that was pretty sharp thinking. Why do
they have you in there?"
The patient smiles and says, "I'm in here because I'm crazy,
not because I'm stupid."
-<>-
A down and out musician was playing his harmonica in the middle
of a busy shopping mall.
Striding over, a policeman asked, "May I please see your
permit?"
"I don't have one," confessed the musician.
"In that case, you'll have to accompany me."
"Splendid!" exclaimed the musician. "What shall we sing?"
-<>-
>You Might be an Internet Hobo if
1. You spend more time online trying to find a way of making
money than actually making money.
2. You have more than one degree from an online university.
3. Your little black book is full of usernames and passwords.
4. Your space is Myspace.
5. You think a vacation is Google Earth.
6. Your 15 minutes of fame is on Youtube.
7. Road rage means a dial up connection.
8. You hear your kids say "the snail man's here".
=======================================================
+------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+
February 13 is Clean out Your Computer Day and Get a Different
Name Day
February 14 is Ferris Wheel Day, National Organ Donor Day,
and Valentine's Day
February 15 is Candlemas, National Gum Drop Day, Singles Awareness
Day and Susan B Anthony Day
February 16 is Do a Grouch a Favor Day
February 17 is Random Acts of Kindness Day
February 18 is National Battery Day and National Drink Wine Day
February 19 is National Chocolate Mint Day
=======================================================
>-->From GoodCleanFun:
__ __
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\ e\__o / \ / \ o__/a /
| e / | | ` | | \ a |
| ,__/ \ / \__, |
\_______/ \ / \_______/
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jgs _; ----/ |__/ \__| \---- ;_
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>12-Hour Shifts
A nurse had been doing twelve-hour shifts on a medical/surgical
unit. One evening she finally got to enjoy an action movie with
her husband.
As they were sitting in the theater holding hands. During the
exciting chase scene, he turned to her and said. "Look, if you
wanna hold hands, fine. But quit taking my pulse, okay?"
-<>-
>Squinting
One day, when I noticed my husband squinting at the TV, I told
him he'd better get his eyes checked.
The next day, he came home with a bigger TV.
-<>-
>Car Rental
On duty as a customer-service rep for a car-rental company, I
took a call from a driver who needed a tow. He was stranded on
a busy highway, but he didn't know the make of the car he was
driving. I asked again for a more detailed description beyond
"a blue four-door."
After a pause, the driver replied, "It's the one on fire."
-<>-
>Kitchen
I heard recently about a stay-at-home Mom. One evening she went
to a PTA meeting and her husband and her oldest daughter got
together and decided they would clean up the kitchen for her.
They put away all the food, wiped all the counters, washed all
the pots and put them away, put the dishes in the dishwasher and
ran it. They swept and mopped the floors and then sat down,
awaiting her arrival.
Two hours later she returned from the meeting, took off her coat,
hung it up, walked through the kitchen into the den, grabbed the
remote control, and began watching television. They followed her
over to her chair and stood by her side.
Finally she felt them looking over her shoulder and looked up at
them and said, "What?"
Her husband said, "The kitchen."
"The kitchen. What?"
"The kitchen. We cleaned up the kitchen. Didn't you notice? It's
sparkling clean. We cleaned it for you."
The woman replied, "Yes, I noticed. Thankless job, isn't it?"
-<>-
>Minor Accident
After learning that her parents were in a minor car accident, my
wife called her mother.
"What happened?" she asked.
"I was driving and fell asleep," said her mother, irritated. "And
of course, your father wasn't paying attention!"
=========================================================
.-.*_,
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>-->Happy Valentine's Day!
>Riddles
Q: What did the bat say to his Valentine?
A: “You’re fun to hang around with!”
Q: What did the cat say to his Valentine?
A: “You’re purr-fect for me!”
Q: What did the pickle say to his Valentine?
A: “You mean a great dill to me!”
Q: What did the octopus say to his Valentine?
A: “I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand,
hand, hand, hand, hand.”
Q: What did the squirrel say to his Valentine?
A: “I’m nuts about you!”
_.----._
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Q: What did the elephant say to his Valentine?
A: “I love you tons!”
Q: What did the drum say to his Valentine?
A: “My heart beats for you!”
Q: What did the owl say to his Valentine?
A: “Owl be yours!”
Q: What did the bear say to his Valentine?
A: “I love you beary much!”
Q: What did the light bulb say to his Valentine?
A: “I wuv you watts and watts!”
__
/ \
/'. / | Some bunny loves you!
||'.\| |
|| \\ / /\ __ /^\/^\
\\ \\'```'-._ ; | /\ \ \ /
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Q: What did the rabbit say to his Valentine?
A: “You’re no bunny ’til some bunny loves you!”
Q: What did the train say to his Valentine?
A: “I choo-choo-choose you!”
Q: What did the boy sheep say to the girl sheep?
A: “I love ewe!”
Q: What did the girl sheep say back to the boy sheep?
A: “You’re not so baaaa-d yourself!”
Q: What did the paper clip say to the magnet?
A: “I find you very attractive.”
.-"""-.
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Q: What did the painter say to his Valentine?
A: “I love you with all my art!”
Q: What did the chocolate syrup say to the ice cream?
A: “I’m sweet on you!”
Q: What did the caveman give his wife on Valentine’s Day?
A: Ugs and kisses.
Q: What did the farmer give his wife on Valentine’s Day?
A: Hogs and kisses.
Q: Why did the cannibal break up with his Valentine?
A: She didn’t suit his taste!
.-. _
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`"""` `"""`
Q: Why did the banana go out with the prune for Valentine’s Day?
A: Because he couldn’t get a date.
Q: What do squirrels give each other for Valentine’s Day?
A: Forget-me-nuts.
Q: Do skunks celebrate Valentine’s Day?
A: Sure, they’re very scent-imental!
Q: What do you call two birds in love?
A: Tweet hearts!
=============================================================
>-->From Our Friend LouiseA :)
.-. _,,,,,_ .-.
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>SMILES
A farmer took the camper off his truck before going to
town. As he was going down the road three Hillbillies
were standing beside the road hitchhiking. The farmer
picked them up, one Hillbilly got in the front and
the other two Hillbillies got in the back. As they were
going over the hill the brakes went out on the truck.
The farmer couldn't stop the truck and they went into
the pond at the bottom.
The farmer and the Hillbilly that was up front come
up out of the water a minute later. They kept waiting
for the two in the back to come up. The farmer said,
"I wonder where they are?"
The Hillbilly said, "Maybe they drowned."
About five minutes later they come up gasping for
breath. The farmer asked, "What the Heck took you so
long?"
The two Hillbillies said, "We had a devil of a time
getting that tailgate open!"
--------
Doug goes to a doctor and says: "Doctor, my wife recently has
lost her voice. What should I do to help her get it back?"
The doctor replies, "Try coming home at 3 in the morning!"
--------
It's sometimes easy to forget how easily email technology can
be misused, sometimes unintentionally, with serious consequences.
Consider the case of the man who left the snow-filled streets of
Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip
and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached
his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail. Unable to
find the scrap of paper on which he had written her e-mail
address, he did his best to type it in from memory.
Unfortunately, he missed one letter and his note was directed
instead to an elderly preacher's wife, whose husband had passed
away only the day before.
When the grieving widow checked her e-mail, she took one look at
the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor in
a dead faint.
At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note
on the screen:
Dearest Wife,
Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival
tomorrow.
Your Loving Husband
PS. Sure is hot down here.
--------
A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, 5, and
Ryan, 3. The boys began to argue over who would get the first
pancake. Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson.
"If Jesus were sitting here, He would say, "Let my brother
have the first pancake. I can wait."
Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, "Ryan, you be
Jesus."
--------
A woman in my diet club was lamenting that she had gained weight.
She'd made her family's favorite cake over the weekend, she
reported, and they'd eaten half of it at dinner.
The next day, she said, she kept staring at the other half, until
finally she cut a thin slice for herself. One slice led to another,
and soon the whole cake was gone. The woman went on to tell us how
upset she was with her lack of willpower, and how she knew her
husband would be so disappointed.
Everyone commiserated, then someone asked what her husband said
when he found out.
She smiled.
"He never found out. I made another cake and ate half!"
--------
A seven-year old boy was at the center of a Philadelphia courtroom
drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should
have custody of him.
The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents, and the
judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child
custody law and regulations requiring that family unity be
maintained to the degree possible.
The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat
him more than his parents, and he adamantly refused to live with
her.
When the judge suggested that he live with his grandparents, the
boy cried out that they also beat him.
After considering the remainder of the immediate family, and
learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life
among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the
boy to propose who should have custody of him.
After two recesses to check legal references, and confer with
child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to
the Philadelphia 76ers, whom the boy firmly believes are not
capable of beating anyone.
--------
A nearsighted minister glanced at the note that Mrs. Jones had
sent to him by an usher. The note read: "Bill Jones, having
gone to sea, his wife desires the prayers of the congregation
for his safety."
Failing to observe the punctuation where it was located, he
startled his audience by announcing, "Bill Jones, having gone
to see his wife, desires the prayers of the congregation for
his safety."
--------
Son: "Dad, did you go to church when you were little?"
Dad: "Yes, son, every single Sunday."
Son: "I thought so. Bet it won't do me any good either."
-------
With a cup of water in my hand I asked, "Ms. Smith, let's wet
your whistle first." She sipped the water, and I placed the
pills in her mouth. She didn't swallow, just kept rolling the
pills around in her mouth. I asked, "Ms Smith, are you having
trouble swallowing the pills?"
She replied, "No...I can't whistle!"
--------
While getting a checkup, a man tells his doctor that he thinks
his wife is losing her hearing. The doctor says, "You should do
a simple test. Stand about 15 feet behind your wife and say
'honey?' Move 3 feet closer and do it again. Keep moving 3 feet
closer until she finally responds. Remember how close you were
when she gives you an answer. That will help me know how bad her
hearing loss is.
About a month later the same guy is at the doctor again and the
doctor asks, "Well, did you do that experiment with your wife's
hearing?"
The man says, "Yes."
"How close did you get before she answered?"
"Well, by the time I got about 3 feet away she just turned around
and said, 'For the FIFTH TIME...WHAT???'"
--------
As I stepped out of the shower, I heard someone in my kitchen
downstairs. Knowing that my wife was out, I grabbed my baseball
bat, thinking that could scare him off, and crept downstairs,
forgetting the fact that I was in I came around the corner with
the bat raised, only to find my wife loading the dishwasher.
"What are you doing?" she asked.
"I thought I heard an intruder. I came down to scare him."
She looked my naked self up and down, and mumbled, "You didn't
need the bat!"
--------
Several weeks after a young man had been hired, he was called
into the personnel director's office.
"What is the meaning of this?" the director asked. "When you
applied for this job, you told us you had five years experience.
Now we discovered this is the first job you've ever held."
"Well," the young man replied "in your advertisement you said
you wanted somebody with imagination."
--------
Two men were sitting at a bar recounting their dreams.
"I dreamed I was on vacation," one man said fondly. "It was just
me and my fishing rod and this big beautiful lake. What a dream."
"I had a great dream too," said the other. "I dreamed I was in bed
with two beautiful women and having the time of my life."
His companion looked over and exhorted, "You dreamed you had two
women, and you didn't call me?"
"Oh, I did," said the other, "but when I called, your wife said
you'd gone fishing."
-<>-
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>Political Correctness?
I think all sports fans will get a kick out of this letter
written to the Chicago Tribune.... Enjoy !
No matter which side you are on in the matter of renaming the
Washington Redskins, this is funny. This guy is hilarious…
Here is an e-mail sent to Clarence Page of the Chicago Tribune
after an article he published concerning a name change for the
Washington Redskins.
Dear Mr. Page: I agree with our Native American population. I
am highly insulted by the racially charged name of the
Washington Redskins. One might argue that to name a professional
football team after Native Americans would exalt them as fine
warriors, but nay, nay. We must be careful not to offend, and
in the spirit of political correctness and courtesy, we must
move forward.
Let's ditch the Kansas City Chiefs, the Atlanta Braves and the
Cleveland Indians. If your shorts are in a wad because of the
reference the name Redskins makes to skin color, then we need
to get rid of the Cleveland Browns.
The Carolina Panthers obviously were named to keep the memory
of militant Blacks from the 60's alive. Gone. It's offensive
to us white folk.
The New York Yankees offend the Southern population. Do you
see a team named for the Confederacy? No! There is no room for
any reference to that tragic war that cost this country so
many young men's lives.
I am also offended by the blatant references to the Catholic
religion among our sports team names. Totally inappropriate
to have the New Orleans Saints, the Los Angeles Angels or the
San Diego Padres.
Then there are the team names that glorify criminals who raped
and pillaged. We are talking about the horrible Oakland Raiders,
the Minnesota Vikings, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and the
Pittsburgh Pirates!
Now, let us address those teams that clearly send the wrong
message to our children. The San Diego Chargers promote
irresponsible fighting or even spending habits. Wrong message
to our children.
The New York Giants and the San Francisco Giants promote obesity,
a growing childhood epidemic. Wrong message to our children.
The Cincinnati Reds promote downers/barbiturates. Wrong message
to our children.
The Milwaukee Brewers. Well that goes without saying. Wrong
message to our children.
So, there you go. We need to support any legislation that comes
out to rectify this travesty, because the government will
likely become involved with this issue, as they should. Just
the kind of thing the do-nothing Congress loves.
As a diehard Oregon State fan, my wife and I, with all of this
in mind, suggest it might also make some sense to change the
name of the Oregon State women's athletic teams to something
other than "the Beavers (especially when they play Southern
California. Do we really want the Trojans sticking it to the
Beavers?
I always love your articles and I generally agree with them. As
for the Redskins name I would suggest they change the name to
the "Foreskins" to better represent their community, paying
tribute to the Democratic dick heads in Congress.
---
...Oh My! LOL! Good ones! Thanks LouiseAu!
=========================================================
>-->From Our Friend Geniann :)
_ ____ _.-"-._
.' `;' ':. '-.
/ ./ .'`\`-...-'`
/ /|D_ .O |
/ / |=\/`= |
|_.' | | |
\ \ _ /_
/`---'}_()_{
/`'---' //\\\
/; (/\ \)\
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/ | | |
/ / . _ / /
\_| '. .' '-'|
\ .-| /
jgs _.-' / | /
( / / .--;
'-.__/ | /
\__.'
>Words One Doesn't Hear Anymore
Be sure to refill the ice trays, we're going to have company.
Watch for the postman, I want to get this letter to Willie in
the mail today.
Quit slamming the screen door when you go out!
Close the door! Do you live in a barn?
Be sure and pull the windows down when you leave, it looks like
a shower is coming up.
Don't forget to wind the clock before you go to bed.
Wash your feet before you go to bed, you've been playing outside
all day barefooted.
Why can't you remember to roll up your britches legs? Getting
them caught in the bicycle chain so many times is tearing them
up.
You have torn the knees out of that pair of pants so many times
there is nothing left to put a patch on.
Don't you go outside with your school clothes on!
Go comb your hair, it looks like the rats have nested in it all
night.
Be sure and pour the cream off the top of the milk when you open
the new bottle.
Take that empty bottle to the store with you so you won't have
to pay a deposit on another one.
Put a dish towel over the cake so the flies won't get on it.
Quit jumping on the floor! I have a cake in the oven and you
are going to make it fall if you don't quit!
Let me know when the Fuller Brush man comes by, I need to get
a few things from him.
You boys stay close by, the car may not start and I will need
you to help push it off.
Holler when you hear the Rolling Store coming, I need some
flour & salt.
There's a dollar in my purse, get 5 gallons of gas when you
go to town.
Open the back door and see if we can get a breeze through here,
it is getting hot.
_..._
.' '.
/'-.---.-'\
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jgs '._/ \_.'
You can walk to the store; it won't hurt you to get some
exercise.
Sit closer to the radio, don't turn it up so loud.
If you pull that stunt again, I am going to wear you out!
Don't lose that button; I won't be able to sew it back on.
Wash under your neck before you come to the table, you have
dirt beads and sweat all under there.
Get out from under the sewing machine; pumping it messes up
the thread!
Be sure and fill the lamps this morning so we don't have to
do that tonight in the dark.
Here, take this old Sears and Roebuck catalog to the toilet
with you when you go, we are almost out of paper out there.
Go out to the well and draw a bucket of water so I can wash
dishes.
Don't turn the radio on now, I want the battery to be up when
the Grand Ole Opry comes on.
No! I don't have 10 cents for you to go to the show. Do you
think money grows on trees?
Eat those turnips, they'll make you big and strong like your
daddy.
That dog is NOT coming in this house! I don't care how cold
it is out there, dogs don't stay in the house.
,@@@@@@,
,@@@@@""@@, ( _ _
, @@@@@ 6.6\@ :\ ( \/ )
{{^\@@@C _-_)@ : \ \ /
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Sit still! I'm trying to get your hair cut straight and you
keep moving and it is all messed up.
Hush your mouth! I don't want to hear words like Dad Gummit!
I'll wash your mouth out with soap!
It is time for your system to be cleaned out. I am going to
give you a dose of castor oil tonight.
If you get a spanking in school and I find out about it,
you'll get another one when you get home.
Quit crossing your eyes! They will get stuck that way!
Soak your foot in this pan of kerosene so that bad cut won't
get infected.
When you take your driving test, don't forget to signal
each turn.
Left arm straight out the window for a left turn;
Left arm bent up at the elbow for a right turn;
And straight down to the side of the door when you are
going to stop.
It's: 'Yes Ma'am!' and 'No Ma'am!' to me, young man, and
don't you forget it!
Hurry up and finish drying the dishes so we can go "ketch
sum lightin bugs and pit 'em in a jar".
Y'all come back now, ya hear.
---
...Wow! Some oldie goldies here for sure! Thanks Geniann!
=======================================================
>-->In The Worldly News:
This is A MUST SEE - It may Surprise And Shock you - Shows
just what Obama did to the Middle East by pulling out and
leaving them high and dry - they absolutely hate us now:
Sean Hannity Interviews Retired Marine Steven Gern After His
Immigration Video Went Viral
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CtmIVY9bkew
FURY Over 9th Circuit Ruling as Iranian ‘Death to America’
Rallies Rage [VIDEO]
‘Why would we invite this here?’ Hours after the Ninth Circuit
Court of Appeals allowed travellers from Iran to enter America,
Iranians showed their appreciation... [Read more]
http://tinyurl.com/zuqf55k
Donald Trump is hard at work once again trying to restore our
country. The moment that Jeff Sessions was confirmed as our
new Attorney General, Trump immediately signed 3 new executive
orders he had been holding out on...
http://tinyurl.com/juyrooq
Taya Kyle, Wife Of “American Sniper” Chris Kyle SLAMS John
McCain [Video]
The widow of “American Sniper” Chris Kyle has added her voice
to those calling for Sen. John McCain, R-Ariz., to apologize to
the family of a fallen Navy SEAL. [Read more]
http://tinyurl.com/h5ytxdm
SPREAD THIS EVERYWHERE: Conservative Grassroots Leaders Plan
Massive Pro-Trump Demonstrations Nationwide [Video]
On Feb. 27 and March 4, the rallies—dubbed the Spirit of
America Rallies—will spring up nationwide in cities and towns
across America. [Read more]
http://tinyurl.com/zdmxnjo
-<>-
>From BizarreNews:
This is why I started publishing Bizarre News in the first
place.
A pro wrestler used his head to hammer almost 40 nails and
claim a world record on an Italian gameshow.
American strongman John Ferraro, also known as "Hammer Head,"
set the Guinness World Record for "Most nails hammered with
the head in 2 minutes" by hammering a total of 38 nails
during an appearance on Italy's Lo Show Dei Record.
Ferraro, who also owns the one-minute record and the record
for "Most concrete blocks broken on the head with a bowling
ball in three minutes (male)," has a skull that is three
times thicker than the average human's.
"Preparation, training and dedication to the goal in front
of me enables me to have full confidence in my abilities.
When it's time to perform a stunt, its balls to wall. It's
time to get in the rage zone," he said.
He also appeared on America's Got Talent in 2016 and performs
as a professional wrestler under the name "Gino Martino."
P.S. the "male" in parentheses after "Most concrete blocks
broken on the head with a bowling ball in three minutes"
seems to suggest that there is a women's category for this
event. How would you like to go on a date with THAT record
holder?
-<>-
A teenager was rushed to a hospital with serious injuries
after being hit by a train while trying to take the perfect
selfie, according to police in Florida. The incident
occurred around 5:00 p.m. over the cliff at Bluffs Park
North.
The Pensacola Police Department said that the 18-year-old
woman is undergoing treatment in a hospital after she was
struck by the train.
Officer Nathaniel Aikens said that Julia Laureano of Destin
and a friend, Leah Bateman, 20, of Pensacola, had been
taking pictures of each other on and by the railroad tracks.
Aikens said that Laureano was injured after she stood next
to the tracks to take a picture of herself with an oncoming
train in the background.
However, the train hit Laureano as it passed and dragged
her several feet before she fell off to the side onto some
rocks. The train was southbound and was moving about 40
miles per hour at the time of the crash.
She was taken to the Sacred Heart Hospital, where she is
said to be in serious condition.
*------------------ Good Call ------------------*
A Texas man whose life sentence on drug charges was commuted
by former President Obama is back behind bars after cops
caught him with more than two pounds of cocaine following a
high-speed chase, according to a report. Robert M. Gill, 68,
had been imprisoned in 1990 for cocaine and heroin
distribution before Obama set him free along with other non-
violent federal inmates in 2015. Last Thursday, according to
federal court papers, Gill met with his probation officers
and then went to the parking lot of a food market to buy
more than 2 pounds of cocaine, and a sheriff's deputy in an
unmarked car tried to stop him, the affidavit said. But Gill
took off and after a high-speed chase collided with another
vehicle where deputies were able to disable his car.
Officers found the cocaine in the backpack and put him under
arrest, the affidavit said. In signing his release, Obama
said he did so "because you have demonstrated the potential
to turn your life around. Now it is up to you to make the
most of this opportunity." He faces a return to prison for
up to 40 years, if convicted.
A new Darwin year begins: http://www.darwinawards.com/
*------ Don't Try to Steal from Charities ------*
A Pennsylvania woman died after her arm got caught in the
door of a clothing drop-off box while she was apparently
removing bags from the container, and she was left dangling
with her feet off the ground. The woman was standing on a
stepstool when it collapsed, breaking her arms and wrists
and trapping her in the donation box. "She was fishing bags
out and the ladder she was standing on gave way, and she
couldn't get her hand loose," said Mount Carmel Police Chief.
She died from blunt force trauma and hypothermia, according
to the county coroner. Bags with clothes and shoes that had
been pulled from the bin were on the ground. The woman's
black Hummer was nearby with the engine still running,
reported police. "It wasn't something that I would expect
to be seeing," the Police Chief said when asked about items
being removed from the donation bin.
+--DUI Suspect Fought Cops While Wearing Lingerie--+
Police have charged a man with drunken driving and fighting
with the officers who allegedly found him semi-conscious
behind the wheel of a car while wearing pink lingerie.
Investigators say 51-year-Daniel Marchese was also exposing
himself when University of Pittsburgh campus police arrived
to find him in the running car. They say he was going in and
out of consciousness in the car, which was sitting in the
middle of the busy Center Avenue intersection in Oakland
Monday afternoon. Police say Marchese was also wearing pink
lingerie under his sweatpants, which were partially off.
Police say they found an open bottle of whiskey and two guns
in the car, and that Marchese kicked, yelled expletives at
officers and threatened them saying, "Just wait 'til I get
my AK.'" As for the car Marchese was driving, officials say
it had been stolen earlier in the day. Marchese is facing a
dozen charges including aggravated assault, indecent assault,
open lewdness, DUI and carrying a firearm without a license.
*------------------ No Smoking ------------------*
A man became irritated when a bus driver ordered him to stop
smoking, so he set her hair on fire. Authorities said that
63-year-old Michael Douglas Freeman of Georgia, was close to
his stop when he decided to smoke a cigarette. Bus driver
Linda Grandt, who was driving the 20-seater bus carrying
Freeman and another passenger, ordered him to stop smoking.
Instead of following her instructions, Freeman, who was
drunk, snatched the keys from the ignition, took out his
lighter, and set the driver's hair on fire. Grandt and the
other passenger managed to put out the fire, and they fled.
Putnam County Sheriff Howard Sills said that Freeman then
took control of the bus and led police on a chase through
two counties with speeds of 95 miles per hour. He only
stopped when a police officer rammed a car into the side of
the bus at about 3:30 p.m. Freeman was arrested on charges
including battery, aggravated assault, evading police and
driving drunk.
=========================================================
>-->From CleanLaffs:
_.-"""""'.
.;__ `\
/ `\ |
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,_ |/_ _) /
{(}`\ \,___. \.'
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A young couple honeymooning in Las Vegas were down to their
last two dollars. The groom told the bride that he had a
feeling that he could turn the two bucks into a fortune if
he went down to the casino alone.
Once in the casino, he put one dollar each into two slot
machines and won Jackpots on both totaling $10,000. He then
played blackjack for an hour until he had $50,000 in chips.
Next, he played poker and upped his winnings to $100,000.
He was about to cash in his chips when he got a hunch that
his luck hadn't run out. So he took all his money and placed
it on Black at the roulette table, hoping to double his
money. But the ball came up Red. He returned to his hotel
room.
"How did you do?" asked the bride.
The groom shrugged and said, "I lost two dollars."
-<>-
A man was sitting alone in his office one night when a genie
popped up out of his ashtray.
"And what will your third wish be?"
The man looked at the genie and said, "Huh? How can I be
getting a third wish when I haven't had a first or second
wish yet?"
"You have had two wishes already," the genie said, "but your
second wish was for me to put everything back the way it was
before you made your first wish. Thus, you remember nothing,
because everything is the way it was before you made any
wishes. You now have one wish left."
"Okay," said the man, "I don't believe this, but what the
heck. I've always wanted to understand women. I'd love to
know what's going on inside their heads."
"Funny," said the genie as it granted his wish and
disappeared forever, "That was your first wish, too!"
-<>-
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and
were giving each other the silent treatment.
Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would
need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning
business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence
(and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, 'Important; wake
me at 5:00AM.' He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was
9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about
to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he
noticed a piece of paper by the bed.
The paper said, 'It is 5:00AM. Wake up.'
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.
-<>-
1. Going to bed early
2. Not leaving my house
3. Not going to a party
My childhood punishments have become my adult goals.
-<>-
I walked into my sister's kitchen and found my nephew having
a snack.
"Where's your mother?" I asked.
"She said she was going to have a shower. Just a minute, I'll
see."
He stepped into the bathroom and flushed the toilet and a
second later a sharp yell came from upstairs.
My nephew walked back out and said, "Yep, she's in the shower."
-<>-
The following is a telephone exchange between a hotel guest
and room-service at a fine hotel in Mexico City.
Room Service (RS): Morny. Ruin sorbees.
Guest (G): Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service.
RS: Rye..Ruin sorbees..morny! Djewish to odor sunteen??
G: Uh, yes... I'd like some bacon and eggs.
RS: Ow July den?
G: What?
RS: Ow July den? Pry, boy, pooch?
G: Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please.
RS: Ow July dee bayhcem--crease?
G: Crisp will be fine.
RS: Hokay. An san tos?
G: What?
RS: San tos. July San tos?
G: I don't think so
RS: No? Judo one toes?
G: I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what
"judo one toes means."
RS: Toes! toes! Why djew don juan toes? Ow bow singlish
mopping we bother?
G: English muffin! I've got it! You were saying "Toast."
Fine. Yes, an English muffin will be fine.
RS: We bother?
G: No, just put the bother on the side.
RS: Wad?
G: I mean butter--just put it on the side.
RS: Copy?
G: Sorry?
RS: Copy, tea, mill?
G: Yes. Coffee please, and that's all.
RS: One Minnie. Ass ruin torino fee, strangle ache, crease
baychem, tossy singlish mopping we bother honey sigh,
and copy--rye?
G: Whatever you say.
RS: Tendjewberrymud.
G: You're welcome.
=========================================================
>-->From TheMouth:
_ _
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/ 6_6 \/ / 4 4 \
\_ (__\ \_ v _/
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(( )) (( ))
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jgs ||| |||
| |
>The Top 13 Changes Under a Government Run by Pro Wrestlers
Courtesy of Topfive.com
13. Driving your fellow Congressman into the turnbuckle now
considered acceptable method of ending a filibuster.
12. President now shouts entire State of the Union address with
his face 18 inches from TV camera.
11. IRS audit replaced by more efficient reverse body slam onto
enema.
10. Government becomes a charade of meaningless noises and lots
of posturing by a bunch of inarticulate losers with no class
or manners-- Hey, wait a minute...
9. Free school lunches destined for the needy instead go to
the biggest, meanest, stupidest kid in each school.
8. S#x scandals now involve even skankier women.
7. January 20: Inauguration ceremonies
January 21: FDA approves over-the-counter sale of steroids
6. Newt Gingrich is finally able to wear his mask and cape out
of the house.
5. During House debate, it is acceptable to yield to the
gentleman wielding a folding chair.
4. Difficult finding interns willing to accommodate an entire
pouch of Skoal.
3. Strom Thurmond *finally* removed by The Undertaker.
2. Line to bodyslam Ken Starr winds around Lincoln Memorial.
1. Before: Mr. Vice President
After: Stone Cold Mike Pence
-<>-
(\/)
\/
(\/) .-. .-.
\/ ((`-)(-`))
\\ // (\/)
\\ // \/
.="""=._))((_.="""=.
/ ., .' '. ,. \
/__(,_.-' '-._,)__\
` /| |\ `
/_|__ __|_\
| `)) ((` |
| |
jgs -"== =="-
** True Definitions **
TRAFFIC LIGHT -- apparatus that automatically turns red when
your car approaches.
DIVORCE -- postgraduate in School of Love.
PIONEER -- early American who was lucky enough to find his
way out of the woods.
PEOPLE -- some make things happen, some watch things happen,
and the majority has no idea what's happened.
SWIMMING POOL -- a mob of people with water in it.
SELF-CONTROL -- the ability to eat only one peanut.
SALESMAN -- man with ability to convince wife she'd look fat
in mink.
CANNIBAL -- person who likes to see other people stewed.
EGOCENTRIC -- a person who believes he is everything you know
you are.
FOREIGN FILM -- any movie shown in Texas theater that isn't
a western.
OPTIMIST -- girl who regards a bulge as a curve.
MAGAZINE -- bunch of printed pages that tell you what's coming
in the next issue.
COLLEGE: The four-year period when parents are permitted
access to the telephone.
EMERGENCY NUMBERS: Police station, fire department and places
that deliver.
OPERA: When a guy gets stabbed in the back and instead of
bleeding he sings.
BUFFET: A French word that means "Get up and get it yourself."
BABY-SITTER: A teen-ager who must behave like an adult so that
the adults who are out can behave like teen-agers.
TATTOO: Permanent proof of temporary insanity.
-<>-
...... ......
.:oOOOOo:. .:oOOOOo:.
.:oOO:'':Oo:. .:oO:'':OOo:.
.:oO: 'Oo:oO' :Oo:.
:oO: 'o' :Oo:
:oO: :Oo:
':oO: :Oo:'
':oO: B E :Oo:'
':oO. .Oo:'
':oO. .Oo:'
':oO. .Oo:'
':oO. .Oo:'
'oO:Oo'
...... 'oOo' ......
.:oOOOOo:.'o'.:oOOOOo:.
.:oOO:'':Oo:. .:oO:'':OOo:.
.:oO: 'Oo:oO' :Oo:.
:oO: 'o' :Oo:
:oO: :Oo:
':oO: :Oo:'
':oO: M Y :Oo:'
':oO. .Oo:'
':oO. .Oo:'
':oO. .Oo:'
':oO. .Oo:'
'oO:Oo'
...... 'oOo' ......
.:oOOOOo:.'o'.:oOOOOo:.
.:oOO:'':Oo:. .:oO:'':OOo:.
.:oO: 'Oo:oO' :Oo:.
:oO: 'o' :Oo:
:oO: :Oo:
':oO: V A L E N T I N E :Oo:'
':oO: :Oo:'
':oO. .Oo:'
':oO. .Oo:'
':oO. .Oo:'
':oO. .Oo:'
jgs 'oO:Oo'
'oOo'
'o'
** What I Learned During My Twelve Months At Victoria's Secret
1. To say the word "panty" without doubling over in hysterics
or, alternatively, feeling nauseous.
2. To tell a woman's bra size just by looking (I haven't yet
decided how best to use this newfound talent).
3. When it comes to women's undergarments, men prefer front-
closure, black and lace.
4. When it comes to women's undergarments, women prefer back-
closure, cotton with no frills, and beige or another equally
neutral color.
5. Just as soon as a woman finds a bra that fits well, doesn't
ride up or leave marks, it will be discontinued.
6. They make thongs in XL.
7. Unlike myself, most women insist that their bra and, cough
cough, "panty" match. They will not buy one without the
corresponding other, no matter how close the other color you
find for them is, or if you explain that the print bottom has
the same color in it as the bra, so in essence, they "go
together."
8. Men are often dumb enough to charge the lingerie they buy
for their mistress on their lunch hour on the credit card that
bills to their house. More than one wife called requesting to
know just what her husband bought that she was never given.
9. Women have no shame, and will return undergarments that have
very clearly been "used", while looking you dead in the eye
and claiming they were never worn.
10. Average bra size: 34B. Bra size most women want to be: 36C.
Bra size most men prefer: 36D.
11. There is no point to a bra without an underwire. If you
don't need an underwire, you don't need a bra.
12. Most commonly used pick-up line of guys who come in the
store: So, what, first you work in the catalog, then the store?
-<>-
.--. .--.
: _ \/ _ :
_\/ \ 6 6 /
\__\ ' /
\'--'/ \__/_
/\ /\ \
/ \/ \
\ /
jgs _\ /_
(__\ /__)
** KIDS SAY THE DARNDEST THINGS! **
HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHOM TO MARRY?
You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if
you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and
she should keep the chips and dip coming. - Alan, age 10
HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be
yelling at the same kids. - Derrick, age 8
WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
Both don't want any more kids. - Lori, age 8
WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get
to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you
listen long enough. - Lynnette, age 8
WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
When they're rich. - Pam, age 7
IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need
someone to clean up after them. - Anita, age 9
HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?
There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?
- Kelvin, age 8
HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
Tell your wife that she looks pretty even if she looks like
a truck. - Ricky, age 10
=========================================================
>-->FUN Places To Net Visit :)
) ( ( ) ( )
( ) ) ( ) (
/^\ /^\ /^\ /^\ /^\ /^\
jgs (_K_) (_I_) (_S_) (_S_) (_E_) (_S_)
>Some LINKS For Valentine's Day....
POEMS:
Friends Together!
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/poems/together.html
I Need A Hug!
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/poems/hug.html
It Takes Two!
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/poems/two.html
Love's Lust!
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/poems/desire.html
Moody Is My Day
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/poems/need.html
TEACHINGS:
Our Valuable Anchor
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/BibleStudy/ouranchor.html
Choose His Children?
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/BibleStudy/choosehischildren.html
You Are The Only You God Has
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/BibleStudy/onlyyougodhas.html
Return To Me - God
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/BibleStudy/return.html
PAGES:
That's God!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/thatsgod.html
Best Friends!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/poems/bestfriends.html
Friendship!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/friendship.html
I Believe...
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/believe.html
God's Little Love Notes
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/notes.html
Love Thoughts
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/love.html
Love Story
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/lovestory.html
Love Test
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/lovetest.html
What Is Love 1
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/wlove1.html
Would You Care?
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/care.html
Jesus Laughing Art
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/Jesusart.html
Akiane Child Prodigy
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/prodigy.html
Akiane Thru The Years
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/prodigy2.html
Australian Cockatoo Story
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/cockatoos.html
Sweet Humanity
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/sweethumanity.html
Love Stories
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/lovestories.html
Random Acts Of Kindness
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/actsofkindness.html
True Heroes
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/trueheroes.html
GIFTS/PLACES:
All Occasion Cakes 2
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/aocakes2.html
Beautiful Flowers
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bflowers.html
Beautiful Rare Flowers
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/rareflowers.html
Beautiful Rare Flowers
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/rareflowers2.html
Big Hearts In Nature
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/heartsinnature.html
Big Boy Toys
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bigboytoys.html
Liberty 2017 Elegant Lady RV
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/rv3.html
Expensive Hotel Rooms
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/ehotels.html
Extreme US SPAS
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/topspas.html
Lamborghini Aventador
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/lambo.html
Stainless VS Gold
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/stainlesscar.html
Niagara Falls In Neon
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/niagaraneon.html
New York At Night
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/newyork.html
Romantic Castles
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/castles.html
Romantic Getaways
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/romantic.html
A Woman's Dream
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/woman.html
World's Most Expensive Things
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/expensive.html
World's Most Spectacular Places
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/spectacularplaces1.html
ANIMATIONS
Hearts
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/agifs_f-j.html
Valentines
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/agifs_u-z.html
-<>-
>Please Visit This Link to Get New Traffic For Shangrala :)
Fun Pages
http://www.funpageexchange.com/go.php?uid=3559
-<>-
>From Our Friend Fran :)
Correction:
Children of the Greatest Generation – the 30s and 40s
http://tinyurl.com/jrgpfju
She sent us one we have here...
Sleeping with the troops!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/sleep.html
---
...Great one! Thanks Fran!
Also see this one...
DAILY WITH THE TROOPS 2!
~*~ CIVILIAN LIFE VS SOLDIER LIFE ~*~
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/daily2.html
May God Bless Our Troops!
-<>-
>From Our Friend LouiseAu :)
Take out a deck of cards and shuffle them like crazy. Give them to
a friend and have them cut the deck several times. Now predict the
order of every card in the deck before you even see them! That's
what this amazing magician does in this incredible trick!
Australian Magician James Galea's Unbelievable Trick
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DX7v6pK0lrU&feature=player_embedded
Magician Nate Staniforth performs the impossible and amazing
'Lottery Ticket Illusion.'
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J6q-WcLoIHc&feature=player_embedded
60 years ago, Hillary and Tenzing became the first climbers to
reach the summit of Mount Everest. Today, hundreds of climbers make
it to the top each year.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=aFkC7Cd9-IE
Dog adopts baby chicks. 'They showed up in our yard one morning and
it was love at first sight.'
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_0nQeZrvatA&feature=player_embedded
---
...Oh My! Made me burst our laughing! Cute! Thanks LouiseAu!
=======================================================
>-->Quotes & Thunkers:
"We're now less than a week away from V-Day. Valentine's
Day is a test. It's a test of your commitment, your
preparedness, a test of whether you love someone enough to
waste $100 on flowers that on any other day of the year
would cost you $30." -Jimmy Kimmel
"On Monday in Vermont, a barrel of maple syrup fell off a
truck and spilled all over the highway. Luckily, it broad-
sided a French toast truck." -Conan O'Brien
"Merriam-Webster dictionary added over 1,000 new words
today, including the word 'photobomb.' They didn't WANT to
add 'photobomb,' but it jumped in at the last second and
kinda ruined the dictionary." -Jimmy Fallon
"The world's most expensive Lego brick, made out of 14 karat
gold, just sold online for $15,000. The new owner says he's
pleased to add it to his collection and it just got vacuumed
up by his mom." -Jimmy Fallon
"Advertisers paid more than $5 million for a 30-second Super
Bowl commercial, which seems like too much money to remind
us that avocados exist. Isn't running an ad for avocados on
Super Bowl Sunday too late? It's the one day of the year
we're already eating avocados." -Jimmy Kimmel
"A man ate 409 chicken wings to become champion of
Philadelphia's Wing Bowl over the weekend, which was
unfortunately too many words to fit on his tombstone."
-Seth Meyers
"Hooters is opening a new chain of restaurant called Hoots,
where they're ditching their revealing outfits. They're
going to have male servers aaaand... they just went out of
business." -Jimmy Fallon
"The Westminster Dog Show has added three new breeds to its
annual events. Said the dogs, 'Yeah, last year's after party
got pretty wild.'" -Seth Meyers
"There is a new restaurant in Spain that just opened where
everybody dines in the restaurant completely naked. And you
thought it was awkward going to dinner with your parents
before." -James Corden
>Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html
FUN URLS
------------------------------------------------------------------------
-->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class
http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61
NEW LIFE IN CHRIST!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
-->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home Yep.
You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy,
good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :)
Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes:
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html
Home Recipes
>Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE:
Share
A Recipe
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