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IS YOUR TODDLER GAY?

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Is Your Toddler Gay? By EMB

Recently I was reminded of how some people feel about being gay. They think it isn't something a person chooses to be, but that somehow they were born gay. Some parents of gay sons even tell us that they knew when their child was a toddler that there was something 'different' about him.

Unless a child has some sort of disorder or has medical or health issues, I have to take exception with this kind of thinking. A small child preschool age is certainly not going around thinking about their sexual desires. They don't have any. The only people who think they do are disillusioned adults and pedophiles! Unless a child has been molested or perverted by an adult, you won't see little children going around trying to grope each other or take off hand and hand to be alone to kiss and fondle each other like teens often do. Adults do not normally need to chaperone little kids to make sure they are not coupling. It is just not necessary. The reason is that little children do not normally think about such things. If they do, then they have lost their innocence some how and need professional help and guidance.

If you can remember back to when you were a couple years old or even common sense will tell you that this is not true. I can remember back to when I was being potty trained. Yes. I am 60 years old and can remember back to that age. Why? Because my mom believed that using shame would help me be potty trained. I remember being outside in the bright sun with my siblings and neighbor kids having fun playing. I dodn't remember hearing any sounds until all of the sudden my mom's angry voice yelled out my name. I rmember being confused as I didn't know why she was mad. I had to go to her. I don't remember her saying anything to me. She helped me change into clean underwear and had me go back outside with my pee soaked underwear on top of my head. All the kids pointed at me and stared. That made it easy for me to remember that time in my life.

I have memories of us all playing together. Sometimes the little boys would like to show their privates off to us girls but we just shunned them as being 'bad' and went back to making our mud pies. I remember the mud pies because the little neighbor girl I played with liked to show off by eating worms she found in her mud while we made pies. She would laugh and think my reaction was funny. It so grossed me out, I still gag now just thinking about it!

I also can remember when I was three years old because I broke my leg. I remember it as if it had just happened yesterday. We often would play in the back yard of our neighbors house. That day when we got there they had a strange white thing next to their old garage. My siblings are all much older than me and taller. My sister teased me because she was 4 years older than me and could look inside. She'd look inside it and say, 'Wow. This is great!' I didn't know what it was but later learned it was an old wringer washer machine. I kept saying, 'let me see, let me see!' Finally I jumped up on the edge of it to lift myself up to see inside, it fell on top of me breaking my upper right leg. My two brothers were half carrying me home and my oldest brother kept asking me if I was sure I couldn't walk. I'd say no. Then I remember him saying to my other brother, 'Mom is going to be really mad at us.'

I had a doctor who made house calls and would make a puckered up kissy face saying 'Hmmmm' as he examined me. Mom had a makeshift bed set in the kitchen/living room for me with the traction thing to keep my leg up in its cast.

Experts say it is our natural survival defense to remember things that happen to us that are emotionally upsetting or traumatic so we might not repeat the same life threatening or bad thing again.

That was as far as it went until I was around 4 years old. I remember being alone in the kitchen with my step-dad when he had me go sit at the table. He sat next to me and then proceeded to touch me. I did not like him touching me. It make me feel awkward. Again, I can remember this as if it just happened yesterday. It is engrained in my memory. Even at that age it felt wrong. He asked me if it felt good. I was afraid of him. He was a very mean abusive man. I knew he wanted me to say yes, but something told me I had to say no. So timidly I said no. He stopped and told me not to tell my mom. I said OK, glad to be away from him. A couple days later my mom took me aside and spoke to me. She asked me if he had touched me down there. I was afraid of my step-dad but I was even more afraid of lying to my mom so I said yes. She told me to let her know if he ever did that again. They had a huge fight over it.

I later learned when I was an adult that he had been molesting and abusing my older sister. He was looking to add me to his pervert list but my mom found out and stopped him. Thank God! I just wish my sister could have been saved from that monster. I also learned that when my mom finally divorced him he went on to marry a woman with 3 little girls. I felt so sorry for them. I know they must be reliving the hell they probably went through having to live with that pedophile pervert every day of their lives just as if it had happened to them yesterday.

So, NO. I do not believe a young child has any feelings like that. As far as acting different, perhaps the parents should seek medical or professional help if that is an issue with their child. Normal children do not have such issues.

Another thing to consider is what the bible teaches us.

Prov.22:
[6] Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

Little children naturally parrot someone they look up to or respect. They may want to talk like them, act like them and look like them. Also it is normal for a child seeing another child having fun with a toy on a commercial to think they want that toy too. Even if the toy is not for their age or gender.

It is important for us as parents or child caregivers to train a child so they know right from wrong. Good from evil. This also is true for our society. We need to teach our child the society rules so he or she can fit best into society so they are not shunned or become an outcast by the world they will have to live in. Our society says it is not good for children to hit, kick, bite, pinch, spit, push, name call, bully, cuss, swear, lie, steal, hurt or disrespect animals or disrespect other children or their elders. That is why we teach the 'Golden Rule' to our children, which is 'Do unto others as you would have them do unto you'. Simply put, if you would not like to be treated that way, then don't do it to others. These are rules we all have to abide by to get along with others in our world. As parents or child caregivers we are to 'train up' our children so they may conform to society rules so it will go well for them now and later on in their adult life.

This means telling your little 'parrot' that he can't talk like daddy or have that girl toy that his sister has. Once he understands society's rules it is easy for him to know what toys are for boys and what toys are for girls. Girls are the ones who grow up and become pregnant and have babies so it is normal for society to expect her to be oriented toward the baby dolls and motherly type toys. Boys are the ones that will grow up and father the babies and be responsible to mostly protect and provide for his family. Society expects this of him. He has to be tough. Girls can play with any toys they want to. Society does not care if she plays with any traditional boy type toys.

Boys also shouldn't be allowed to wear girl clothes or makeup or girl jewelry. Why? It is unacceptable behavior in our society. Not normal. Men who go into a traditional woman's type job such as a nanny or a nurse are never expected to wear the women's uniform for that job. Most employees expect them to wear regular man type clothes - No dresses or heels. However, girls can dress any way they choose. Society expects women who go into a traditional man's type job such as a deputy or a soldier to wear the same uniform as the men wear for that job. Women can wear men suits, ties and shoes and we accept it. It is just society norms that we need to help guide and instruct our children with and train them up so they can fit in and not be outcasts. It is our duty to help teach our children as best we can so they may turn out happy, well adjusted, successful and productive members of society.

So, is your toddler gay? Most likely unless there is a physical, mental or emotional problem the answer is absolutely not!

Parents and child caregivers just need to do what God says to do -

Prov.22:
[6] Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

God's Best Blessings Always In Christ!

2 Timothy 2:15
Study to shew thyself approved unto God,
a workman that needeth not to be ashamed,
rightly dividing the word of truth.

May you, and all those you love,
be so blessed and fortunate
as to stand approved before God,
unashamed of your workmanship.

May God Always Bless You and Yours As
You Stand Steadfast on His Word Of Truth!

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